Recipe for the Nights You Should Not be Alone
by Arielle Arbushites
Ingredients:
one glass of water, even if you do not want it
a blanket that knows your body
medication, taken correctly, if applicable
the phone number of someone safe
one reason to stay until morning
music soft enough not to startle the sadness
something warm: tea, soup, a pet, another hand
a list of names of people who make you feel good (even if they are in books and TV shows)
emergency numbers within reach
permission to survive badly instead of dying perfectly
Instructions:
Begin by lowering the heat of your brain.
Turn off any overhead lights.
Sit.
Sit on the kitchen floor if you must.
Add water first. Depression hates hydration.
Sip slowly while waiting for your nervous system to remember it belongs to something important: you.
Do not trust the mind once midnight thickens.
This is important.
Thoughts after exhaustion should be handled like knives: carefully.
Fold yourself into the blanket that knows your body.
Text someone the truth in the simplest language possible:
I am not doing well tonight.
Can you stay with me awhile?
Whatever your truth is.
Insert truth here.
If no one answers immediately, repeat after ten minutes.
Then call.
Then call again.
Always remember: We are more annoying to the routine of others if we are unexpectedly gone from the world than if we contact them ten times in a row one lonely night.
Preheat the future by twenty-four hours only.
You do not need forever tonight.
Just enough time for morning to arrive and rearrange the chemicals slightly.
If intrusive thoughts begin boiling over, remove yourself from weapons or anything your grief might try to turn into instructions.
Serve with breathing.
Always breathing.
Serve with television reruns.
Or favorite movies.
Comfort food in the shape of a screen.
Serve with your dog pressed against your legs or the sound of another human voice through a speaker.
Makes one surviving person.
Best prepared repeatedly.
Especially on the nights you are certain you are beyond saving.
(P.S. You are worth saving.)
***
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, previously known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, offers 24/7 call, text and chat access to trained crisis counselors who can help people experiencing suicidal, substance use, and/or mental health crisis, or any other kind of emotional distress. People can also call, text or chat 988 if they are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.
Call or Text 988 for immediate support. Spanish speaking options available. Veterans, Service Members, and their families can call 988 and press option 1. Callers who are Deaf, Deaf Blind, Deaf Disabled, Hard of Hearing, and Late-Deafened can directly dial 988 on a videophone or click the "ASL Now" button on 988lifeline.org
We can all help prevent suicide. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.
County Resources:
Lehigh County Crisis Intervention:610-782-3127.
Northampton Country Crisis Intervention: 1-610-252-9060.
Carbon County Crisis Intervention: (610) 377-0773
Monroe County Crisis Intervention: (570) 421-2901
Pikes Country Crisis Intervention: (570) 296-6484
National Resources:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255.
National Crisis Text Line: Text741-741.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline:Call/Text 988.
